types of olives, why there is tree sap, and what am i good at

I'm new at this blogging thing. I probably should've started out with this one instead of the previous one, to introduce myself. Hi. I'm Raelyn. Lots of people call me Rae. Those who call me Raelyn say it with the emphasis either on the Rae or the Lyn, and it also depends on which area of the South we are currently in, and how stretched out each part of my name is. Yes, I live in the south. Yes, it's hot. Yes, it'll get way hotter. And I am near the coast. It'll be hurricane season soon. It strikes me strange that there is a season for such a thing, but there is, just as there are monsoon seasons, and was it tornado season just recently or was that just a freak occurence? I don't watch much tv, which includes the news. The tv is always hogged by the children. I hate watching kids' movies. I just recently discovered netflix during a recent forced recovery. But it's the netflix that comes in through the Wii so my movie choices are limited. I started watching "Nip and Tuck" and that got pretty depressing and sick and definitely not something to watch while recuperating from surgery. My favorite movie was the french "Amelie". I can't find another one like it, though I wish I could. What do people usually blog about? Is it things they know, or don't know, or want to find out about, or what they are good at? I'm not sure what I am good at. I say that I am 29 and holding but I've been holding for ten years. I think my kids are starting to figure it out, especially since the same candle is being re-lit each year. Kids. I can't imagine myself having kids. And yet I have three. One just got his drivers license and drove for the first time solo today. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I feel sort of like when he went to kindergarten. Like he wouldn't need me anymore. I wish for a day, hopefully not long in the future when he comes up to me for a hug, and not hugging him. And for it to be a nice long one. But that's not very teen-agery and I'm glad for his growing independence. This is what we are raising them for. To be and do things on their own, to be successful, to contribute to society, to try to do their best, at whatever they are best at. That's a hard thing for even an adult to figure out. We sort of just do what is planned out, or what's expected of us. Not all of us. Not the artists. Not the non-comformists. I admire them. I admire those people that have only themselves to please, and they live life just for the joy of it. I don't know if I can do that as a parent. I have to set boundaries, and stick with them, and give structure. There are things expected of them, so that we all can co-exist peacefully. My main pet-peeve is when my kids' are arguing with each other, they get like violent dogs. Not physical, but verbal and it's so offensive to me. I think it is because I am a part of them, or they are a part of me. So when the negativity gets pretty high, it really sucks out my happiness. I haven't found that balance yet. The balance that comes with seperating myself from what is going on around me. sort of that Zen thing. I think I'd have to create my own inner happy place and go there when things get ugly around me. But that is done purposefully and I don't do things that way. I am more productive on a last minute basis, spur of the moment thing. So what do people talk about on blogs? And is mine completely lame? Should I be an expert at something. The many different kinds and uses of olives. What the purpose of tree sap is. that peonies only bloom when ants are at their base. and wisteria blooms not only in purple, but also white. do i know anything that anyone else knows? i can't imagine that at this time with the internet and every subject imaginable to man or woman. i usually don't like capitalizing the word 'i'. though i have at the beginning of this. it's easier getting your thoughts out without trying to worry about caps and puncuation. and is there a spell check here? or do people write out stuff first in a word document first and then cut and paste. i once saw what i think is a ghost. that's something that someone may or may not have experienced. i know there are angels out there. i have had many close calls to know that there was some kind of divine intervention helping me out. i was about three years old taking a nap in my mom's bedroom. i woke up and saw a face over the bed. don't remember about the body. it was a woman with an old style of clothing and a big hat on her head, the kind with a tie around her neck, just a big wicker type, or maybe fabric, something frumpy but still proper. i am typing this with my one pair of glasses that i can find, and they are broken, so they are lopsided on my head. it kind of makes me type sideways. my husband is unloading the dishwasher which i should be doing but i feel very disconnected today. i don't feel very productive. that can be possibly due to me sitting here all day. writing. but i feel like i have to get words out. even if they have no meaning, or don't change anyone's perspective, or help someone out. it's like my brain is in overdrive. did i mention i have ADD? i was diagnosed as an adult. i'm still not sure how i feel about that. there are still people out there that don't believe that it's even a thing. that children have been drugged because they have not been disciplined properly. not enough family time. two parents working. kids being raised by childcare, and family if they are near. but it is real. and it gets worse at times. i get a headache because there is so much in my head, it's not about being able to focus. it's about being a sensitive person, feeling things deeply, and being hurt, having lower self esteem because of many years of underachieving even though your tests score higher than what your report cards show. also if you are not disrupting the class, then it is often overlooked. why do people think it is not a real thing? do they think the brain is disconnected from the body and things can be different, not especially wrong, because sometimes it's a blessing, the urges to be creative, the different perspective, the outside of the box thinking, that's all good stuff. sometimes it takes a lot of focus just to do the laundry. anything monotonous. wo me. who likes laundry anyway? so, there are green olives, there are ones that are whole with pits in them that are black, there are the green olives with red centers. there are black sliced ones. my daughter loves those. she can eat a whole can of black olives. i don't know why there is tree sap. is it an injury to the tree, like tears on a person's face? is it necessary to protect the bark, is it just a natural weeping of nature, a change of seasons. i think my daughter has ADD as well. she is beautiful, creative. but she argues, and gets very defensive, and doesn't know where that line is with people, especially her brother. that could be just a sibling thing. she does things repeatedly like she is doing right now. kicking the yoga ball over and over again against the front door. her sister told her what is she doing. she says, "Yeah. I am here. Whaddya want? All I'm doing is kicking against the door." So. Here we are. I am. What am I good at? I'm not really sure. I haven't really delved into the deep recesses of me-ness. I have tried to keep a journal. I have found entries from years ago, and then a month ago, and just random times. She is still kicking the yoga ball against the door. I hate repetive things. I can't stand finger tapping on a school desk, or shoe shuffling. Noises are too loud. It's a sensory thing I think. Things are too much.I am earnest. That's a good thing right? That means you mean what you say, what you promise to a person. Sincerity. I have compassion. I'm good at that. Patience I am not. I could say that I am working on that but i think there are things in life that try your patience until you master it. Duh. sounds easy. it's not. i patiently wait in long lines, at the store, in banks, in the mall, wherever there is a line of people. that's not a big deal for me. my patience is tried when i say not to do something and they still do it. that is a kid/parent thing. so i guess i am patient most of the time. i don't like saying "I" a lot. that seems like I am a narcissistic person. i would rather read comments from any readers. telling me what they are good at. what tree sap is for. the many uses of olives. and how to make siblings get along. how to make them quit fighting, especially because i am a peaceful person. i don't have patience for sarcasticness, especially from my 8 year old. i don't like it when she storms off when I tell her to quit acting like she is. "Do you think I am trying to?" she replied and ran off to her room. What is the correct answer to that? how do you do something without trying to do it? don't you try and then succeed. you don't just do something without trying it. trying is doing, is it not? anyway. Hello Bloggers! I'd love to meet others on here. Please leave comments or links or whatever it is you do to share your blog with others. I am here at home not feeling well, and have been for four days with a sick kid so that may explain the lack of patience and storming out of the room. otherwise my 8 year old is a very empathetic, sensitive, loving child. you should hear her prayers at night. they are so beautiful. Again, nice to meet you. And it's okay if my blogging is confusing. Sending creative and positive energy out there and hoping to recieve it back in kind. =) ... Rae