To be or not To Be Human

The beauty of online relationships is that you don't have to see or share the annoying aspects of being a human being. I'm talking about those little nuances and disgusting habits that people have. The nose pickers, crotch grabbers, butt scratchers, nail biters, flip flop sliders, zit poppers, intentional burp and farters and those people who go to the bathroom and don't wash their hands afterward. And what about those that chew food with their mouth open? That annoys the piss out of a friend of mine. That same friend is toxic in that she likes her vodka and gatoraide at all times, even when driving. That's not a habit it's an addiction. She isn't an online friend, she is my friend in person. But being an alcoholic is off the topic. The topic of annoying habits. Which habit do you think is worse? I think being a booger eater tops the list but goes head to head with butt scratching. Having zits and foot fungus is also hopeless afflictions that tend to gross a person out but can't be helped. The countless ads on tv will have you thinking differently. They will also swear that you can lose those pesky thirty pounds by shaking some powder substance on your food. You can also meet your soul mate on tv the ads say. You can even go to a Christian mingle to find you fate or faith rather. Having an online friend is way different than a friend in person. They always share the best of themselves in conversations. It's a 2D way of seeing someone instead of 3D in reality. I wonder if I would like my online friends less if I knew more about them. I feel like I know them from the inside out rather than meeting someone for the first time and judging them on that meeting. There are no first impressions with online friends. They are who they presume to be. They can be as much of themseolves or as little of themselves as they choose to be or what they decide to share. I think I would still like my online friends if they had some of the annoying habits mentioned. Because that makes us more human. We are also more animalistic than we think we are. I know I have a lot in common with my dog. I also like to be scratched and petted and walked. I like my food brought to me. I also enjoy sleep. Would you like me less if you knew I had some annoying habits? Or that me and my dog have similarities? I wonder. I really do.

Better Late Than Never

WOW! Two whole years since I've written in my blog. A lot has happened since then. I no longer have joint pain. I had thyroid cancer and had a thyroidectomy and got the whole thing out. Now I'm on new meds for that. I still haven't found my niche beyond being a wife and mother. My kids are mostly independent now. I got my CNA license. I need to find a job where I can work when the kids are in school. I haven't actively looked for one. I kind of got one at one place but they haven't called me back. The house is an absolute wreck. Laundry is piled up everywhere. Mostly clean that I have to do something with. But there is no room for it in drawers. All of them are packed full. Maybe that means I need to get rid of the clothes. I wish I could have the kids in a uniform. They used to wear one at the private school that they went to. They have been in public school for two years now. I'm not sure how I feel about that. They have been exposed to things that I'd rather them not to at their ages. My twelve year old was on the bus the other day and I should mention that the high schoolers ride with the middle schoolers, and my twelve year old Jillian was shown marijuana. This girl said to her, "Look I've got weed. Smell it." And Jillian smelled it. She told the girl that it would kill her. She learned that drugs kill at school. She doesn't understand that it is against the law and that is the main extent of it. I'd rather her think it kills than just gets someone high. I've done my share of smoking at different times in my life. I would never ever tell my kids that though. But here I am posting it on a blog. I guess I was somewhat of a tree hugger. Now I am too lazy to recycle and do things to soften my print on this big green earth. I feel guilty about that but it doesn't change anything. I've lost touch with a lot of my friends. Becoming a hermit and surfing and chatting online. I found a sister for a friend who lives in Iran. And there is this guy that I love that I talk to. I used to do photography and have stopped doing that. I don't know how or why I've become stagnant. I feel like I have lost my purpose. Or that my purpose has changed. I said labels belong on jelly jars but they also explain things. I am ADD and bipolar. So I am on meds for that. Somehow I ran out of my ADD meds though. I probably misplaced them. Imagine that. I have gotten into writing poetry on Deviantart. I'll put a link in here. http://chewyraezen.deviantart.com/ I can't remember what other posts I've written. I'll have to check them out. I wonder if I have changed or am still the same person. My husband said I changed after I had my thyroid surgery. Like some of the spark was gone from me. It's not anything I can change so I choose not to focus on it and try to be a good person. Whatever that means to be a good person. Just trying to do my best. But sometimes my best is not enough. Oh well. Cest La Vie right?! Thanks for reading.